Okay, let me give you an idea about the 'us' part first. This will be just some chunks and bits of information because I do have the tendency of over-describing things.

How We Met

* 8 years ago in YM

* I instantly got a crush on him especially when I saw him on webcam (I was 16 then, so I can't blame myself)

* we are just friends, easy.. no kiss and tell.. the farthest we showed our friendship/affection to each other is "I like you a lot" and some girly "I like you a lot too"

* he didn't really know I'd liked him that much that I even wrote him a song that was later on used when my band that time joined Global Battle of the Band. I used the title Hey for that song, since that's what he always use at the start of every chat and he's always the one who initiates it first. The song goes as more of a remorse song and my way of convincing myself not to pursue the feelings I have for him. The lyrics started this way "It's your eyes.. Bluish and green.. can fake all the lies, I have not yet seen.. you're an illusion. gotta leave me soon.." and the chorus is "Don't say hey, if you don't want to stay.. don't make me smile.. if you want me to cry.. so cutie see ya.. i don't want to get to yah..." I really do meant the chorus part because sometimes he left me hanging when we were chatting back then.. he's like all of a sudden gone and it was getting frequent.. I sort of hated the feeling of not getting enough of him when in the first place he was the one who wanted to talk first..

* we were talking once in awhile..updating each other with our lives..we talked about finally being able to meet in person and finally be able to go out on a date..

* he created a Friendster account so that he could have updates about me. He is using MySpace, but I wasn't really thinking of creating MySpace account. Never really got into my head.

* he found out my mom is already in US. He got so excited that he couldn't stop asking me about when I would finally be with my mom in the US. I kept telling him it's going to be a couple of years or maybe three.. Then he'll ask me again and again lol.. Then he did call up my mom there in the US and he personally asked her.. According to my mom, he asked her the same thing he'd been asking me lol, and he also asked what would be the fastest way for me to get there. Mom told me that he told her he couldn't wait to know me more and finally meet me in person.. He told mom he will probably be seeing me by next year and that he couldn't wait (which is this year and it did happen )

* so we were able to talk often, and he was deployed to Japan then. He said we would be seeing each other soon since he'll be going over in a month here in the Philippines. He also got my number

* I signed up in Facebook finally since a lot has been using Facebook. Good thing he has Facebook as well. Found out right there that he already has a girlfriend recently like just a week, which I'm really cool about. Suprisingly I am happy and hopeful for him, althoughI know at the bottom of my heart that pretty much when I met and talked to him all those years, I am wishing to end up with him. So anyway, we get to update each other in Facebook. I did ask him if they he and his gf are already having plans. He isn't really too talkative about their relationship, which I'm not surprise because he doesn't really talk much, especially about other girls he have had in the span of 8 years. He just answered, "sort of." So anyway, his girl sent me a friend request in facebook with an added comment like it goes, "Hi I'm Kelly's girlfriend. He told me you are his friend from high school?" and so I just responded to the girl that yes, I am his friend from high school and that yes, I know that he's Kelly's girlfriend. And I kind of lied in my comment, well, just a white lie, that we talk a lot about her, but we really don't talk about her a lot. I'd like to but Kelly just wouldn't. End of the story, that kind of thing. So I was like checking out why the girl tried to add me, so I noticed Kelly leaves messages on my profile, there hasn't been for that girl. Kelly gives comments to my photos and there hasn't been to that girl.. So that got me thinking..

* It's gonna be another week and I'll finally be seeing Kelly for the first time. Day after day, the girl's messages to Kelly's Facebook are getting desperate like. "I haven't heard from him for awhile. I miss you baby..." or something like "This sucks.. He still hasn't called me.."... or something like that.. So anyway, the time came that his troop finally arrived in the Philippines for a CARAT exercise, and such a big coincidence because among the 7,100 islands in the Philippines, it's in the place where I'm at... I received a text message from a local number, from a Filipino soldier that Lance Corporal Todd wanted to let me know that he had already arrived. So yeah.. I replied and he got ahold of me. We talked over the phone and he told me that they will be confined in the Naval Base and they didn't know when they could go out yet. So he asked me to come over, which of course I said yes. I kind of slipped in right there and told him that he should call his girlfriend as well because she got kind of lonely. I informed him about the girl's facebook posts. He was just like "yeah" and I was just like, "you will call her right?" and he'll be like "yeah.." and I was like, "ah okay.." So I receive updates from him from different local numbers..

* So the BIG day came... I went to the Naval Base. and just to give you an idea how it went, I'll be pasting our emails to each other regarding our first actual encounter

 HIS

That first day when I met you at the gate for the first time Cherrey. I didn’t want to let go of you. I thought it would have been cute if you squeezed me not cheesy lol.

I couldn’t believe it when I saw you. I was like wow this is her right here infront of me. A little shorter than what I expected haha. But shes real it blew my mind after all those years

I didn’t know what to think. My mind was all clouded up with all these unexplainable emotions. It didn’t seem real but then to finally touch you and see you there right there.

 MINE

Oh how I remember when I first looked at you at the gate..i was like..I dunno, I had that moment captured in my mind right now..like the milliseconds that I first laid my eyes on you.. it was like....in the movies? oh...erase...not like the movies, that's argh.. it's like phenomenal..haha.. or magical..heavenly.. like I can really capture how I stared in your eyes, look at your nose, your lips, your perfectly chiseled face..I was like..you are real..and I wasn't dreaming.. i really wanted to hug you so tight right then and there..

* So that's how we first met, so the first time we were able to hang out and talk longer was like 3 days after that. We met at the mall along with his group. So that means I also have to be with 5 other guys who are cool and intersting. We dined at restaurant at the mall. Well it's not really dining. They went out for a drink. So anyways, he asked for some privacy from the group and he asked if we could talk outside. So we went outside and sat on vacant seats right there. We sat across each other, with a table in between and he held my two hands on top of the table. He was holding my hands and he was looking at me deeply like he couldn't believe we finally meet, you know. I was so nervous, because I could feel butterflies in my stomach and I couldn't look at him. I was like looking down all the time he was holding my hands. So he started telling me that he couldn't believe that we've finally met for 8 years. That I really blew his mind... He brought up about me going to the US again. So I kind of laughed again because man, how many times does he have to ask that again..But I understand him. So I told him that's it's going to be a few years. He told me he couldn't wait to be with me right there. So when he said that I was like, where will this be getting at? So I got kind of nervous again.. So he finally said, something like "Cherrey I want to be with you...I want you to come to the US with me...Anywhere you want to be.. If you want to be near your mom, I'll go anywhere with you.. It doesn't matter..I want to move in with you.." so when he said that, my eyes were like so wide, and my mouth hanging open.. I was trying to put myself together then asked "Move in with me?" so things were spilling from my mouth because that was like..unexpected.. so these are the series of questions I've brought up that night, "What about your girlfriend? Move in with you? Although we've known each other for 8 years, I think you're somehow a mystery to me.. I don't think I really want to go to the US.. Are you really sure about all this? Do you really know what you're saying?" He did answer them all one by one..

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?? I'M STILL NOT EVEN HALFWAY WHAT IM TRYING TO GET AT!!!

Let me break it down..oh my God I'm saying a lot already..

So anyway, he settled it with his girlfriend that time. He broke up with her through the phone, and the girl's status in Facebook is from a relationship to single. I felt sad about it but I gave Kelly a choice because he can't be with me if he was with that girl. That's not going to happen. So a few days after that night, he courted me and asked me formally to be in a relationship with him, I didn't say yes right away, because although he was like a dream come true, I still have to think about a lot of things and I asked him some questions and trying to gauge my decision from his answer..but eventually, I said yes to him and we became a couple.

So we're already 2 months right now..We've been emailing each other and I'm quite satisfied with how he is keeping in touch with me. Sometimes he will not be able to email in 6 days because he would probably gone to the field that time, and then back to the ship again.

WHAT'S WITH THIS WHOLE MYSPACE THINGY??

So something got into my head to check out his MySpace to see some pictures of him. He doesn't have much on Facebook and Friendster either. So I didn't sign up in MySpace, and I was glad his profile was public. By the way, he can only like go online and check out Facebook or MySpace like twice in a month. 

So these are the things I found out and some/a lot surprised me :

1 ) his shout out is "loves the philippines..miss ya'll back at home take care."  for me this one is good..

2 ) this one made me feel bad or kind of placed doubt in my mind, it's in his About Me section " I have a wonderful girlfriend Lindsey shes great. " and I was like, why did he leave her for me?

3 ) I found out from a series of comments from the girl that they might have already been planning to wed at such a short span, and right now we are also planning to wed, he's going to work on my fiance visa.. (so I have second thought of this whole dealio)

4) and I checked out the girl's profile as well, I know it's bad, and he had messages right there like which I hadn't seen in Facebook so I kind of got shocked that he might have really adored her you know.. he told her he loves her, and that to hang in there.. and that nothing's gonna change his love for her..and stuffs like that.. well, yeah they just met in that short span, like for a week or so..but we can't really say..he sounded true to his words to her..

5) well, some few years back like there were some comments that sounded like a booty calls from girls to him.. I don't know..

6) I was shocked seeing a pic of him with like plastered pictures of naked girls in the background which of course like so years ago..and a blog of him describing hot girls and stuffs...and his idea of a girlfriend you know... so I kind of like started asking myself.. "Does this guy really like me at all?" I never heard him say I'm hot or anything in those line of words.. He did tell me I'm beautiful, gorgeous and that sweet-sounding..I'm glad but, he liked a hot one right? and I don't have visually stimulating pictures of me or something.. With also the kind of humor that his ex pulls on him is like "i love you fucker..." and I'm not the type who say things like that.. I know I shouldn't compare or anything...

but anyway, what I'm getting at are one of these..

1) WHAT IF HE REALIZES IM NOT REALLY THE KIND OF GIRL HE WANTED?

But to defend that thought in one of his emails, which may disagree with my paranoia

"Im so happy I can finally be with you ive waited so long. I feel like the happiest person in the world being with you. I want you so bad. Eight years and finally who would have thought. I honestly never thought it could be real. Im still soaking it all in. the way you make me feel, the way you look at me with comfort, the way that when you kiss me I know its true and filled with compassion. I love it, I’m so ecstatic my mom cant wait to meet you either. Shes happy which makes me happy to because if my mom wasn’t happy I wouldn’t know what to think. Hah I thought you’d like that metaphor about the dad, kid and piece of candy, I think it was kinda cheesy but oh well it happens.

I cant wait for us to be together again. Its making me go crazy thinking about you and not having you within my reaches. I’ve never felt this way, so committed, so sure about things. Its wonderful to say the least. I loved every second being with you Cherrey you’ve changed me for the better its amazing."

2) WHAT IF HE'S NOT GOING TO LIVE UP TO BEING A GOOD PARTNER IN LIFE?

To defend my thoughts again:

"I know its always unfortunate when a husband and wife split up after a number of years especially almost 20 its unreal. But I completely agree we can always learn from others mistakes, it helps a lot to see what other people screw up on so that we can have the loving, passionate, romantic relationship that we want. It sucks that we have to learn from others pain and suffering but sometimes its what has to happen. I don’t want to go down the same road as my parents either it was to hard being a kid seeing that going on, and I couldn’t imagine myself away from you anyways babe. Hopefully, well I know its not hope anymore I know that I have found the one, you know what I mean. Kinda get that feeling of completion and satisfaction it’s a good feeling. "

3) WHAT IF HE'S JUST SAYING THINGS?

I know it really made me guilty having to even thing about all of this... We are planning on getting married and I am sure I've been truthful to him, and I know I will do everything for him. But sometimes, I also want to be assured I'm not going to fall back on my face again...

*BOY MEETS GIRL*
Chapter 2
"Rediscovering Courtship" : A Return to Purposeful Romance

*********** My Personal Notes *******************
It's funny how the author in this book seemed the talk about what happened that night when we started talking about 'us'.. Although there are some difference, but there were also some similarities... It wasn't in a bagel shop..haha.. It's in fine restaurant at the mall (part I) and part II was outside a videoke bar, and the girl the author described was sipping sprite and I was sipping iced tea that time, looking up at him doing all his explaining about how he wanted to be with me and to start a relationship with me... and oh, I didn't say 'yes' right away..I was full of but's that time, it's not because I wanted to torture him or leave him hanging, it was just I had to consider about a lot of things, where he'll be after he leaves the Philippines for another deployment to Southeast Asia, what will happen when he gets back to the US, the idea of having to turn down the guy who had been courting me for almost a year, the kind of job he has  and a lot of things about our relationship..hmm..and i was also trying to reflect the truthfulness of everything he said (sorry about that babe) and I really have to weigh things down.. and yes, I did pray about him.. and i had to think if a fifteen years' old prayers years ago even mattered when she is a 23 year old now..and I guess it did.. I was wishing that night could be more than any reason that he was brought to where I am and I was wishing it wasn't just a coincidence but fate guided with God's blessings... I'm not at all religious but I still believe what happened that night isn't just at all magical but it's about our faith...
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Below is the excerpt from the book :